Time betrays
People betray
Family betrays
Life betrays
You betray yourself too
The true story
Isn’t the words said
The true story
Is never what is seen
It lies in what stays
Unsaid and unnoticed
And in life unlived!!
What betrays silence
Is the word
& what betrays the words
Is the silence
Between said and unsaid
There is a pause
A void so dense
Yet so empty
Bereft of trust and emotions
I wonder how does love fare
In the era of dating apps
Earlier love came gate crashing into our lives
Annoyingly when we least expected it
It sat as an unwanted guest
Messing up all the time lines
It waited patiently for its turn
To unleash it’s charm
And make its way into our lives
I wonder how love copes now
In the era of dating and speed dating
Has it become impatient?
Does it move along with our swipes
Swipe right you may find it
Swipe left you may lose it or vice versa
With Apps and profiles
As the ultimate gate keepers
How will it ever get to gate-crash?
Is love at first sight even a possibility?
There are always damn screen and filters
And best edited profile pictures
And then when you personally meet
With ample room for expectations
And disdain
Does love leave the table politely?
Earlier love would linger on
And maybe even stalk
And now it ghosts
Earlier there were no promises or forever
But yet love would haunt for life
I no longer know how it works
When we lay all our cards on the table
Hoping for a fair game
But then it turns out
There are no rules of the game
Love remains a situationship
Waiting for an upgrade
It is always a clean slate
No misgivings, no messiness
Light as a butterfly
Love flutters in and out of life
No surprises anymore
No confessions either
Love in the age of AI and Apps
Has turned out to be a smart love
With racing heartbeats in rings and watches
No broken hearts, no unrequited love
Nor platonic or overtly lustful
Love itself has become a need
A box to be ticked
The more you chase it, the more it eludes
That hope – the next swipe might
Bring it to your table right?
Keep at it!!!
Knowing love, it will still turn up
To upset all your plans
Staring right at you
Sweeping you in a twister storm
And then dumping you
Totally broken but warm
It will teach you to smile and sob
Only love can teach love
It is a shape shifting algorithm
Making an absolute fool of
Even the wisest one!!
It didn’t take long
To go solo
Be it movies
Or restaurants
Or museums
Or a bookstore
Or treks
I don’t even remember
When it began
Perhaps during my college
My long solo commute?
Every daily commuter
Is always alone
Though almost crushed
In a crowded train or bus
There is a constant
Inner talk with self
About a thing
Or millions of things
Or just an empty mind
Too fatigued to think
You don’t need people
When you grow up
So rugged
And then of course
There are betrayals
Of trust and time
Then there was beautiful phase
When my newborn boy
Became my extension
I was never alone
I was his constant
For that tiny life
I had brought forth
Into this chaotic world
I was never alone
Kids never let you be
Unless you play along
So often it would
Be the library or bookstore visits
Where I would sit solo
In line of sight of my boy
Far far away in the kids section
I don’t remember
Who exactly was I
Training to be alone ?
After the boy grew up
And flew off far far away
I made up my mind
To be the solitary reaper
Of my abandoned pursuits
I unearthed my buried self
In place of a girl in 20’s
Out came a woman in her 50’s
More calmer, confident and wiser
Much slower too
How I wish I could reach out
To that girl and tell her to go solo
The world abandons you anyways
Women are supposed to play
A second fiddle in everything
Wish I could spare her from
All the traumas and dilemmas
And of course all the tears
My dark circles are rightfully earned
But here I am in my 50’s
Carrying that abandoned
Spirit of my 20’s
I know it feels absurd
To those who never tried
(Or didn’t have to)
To stand up for oneself
And live for a while
Remember?
We have abandoned our earth too
Who moves solo in the dark space
And then there is the final solo act
When we depart solo!!
What begins, always ends
And all ends have a beginning
Just like in Life
And in everything else
Life too begins
And Life ends
The journey lies in between
Suspended in memories
And disbelief!!
Every Peace treaty
Every marriage
Every relationship
Every dysfunctional family
That fails
Has a history
Of Unkept promises
Promises which did not
Pass the test of time
There should be
A proper closure
For unkept promises
Or else they turn into deep wounds
They grow like cancer
Occupying spaces
Leaving no breathing room
They are like unseen
Elephants in the room
Which are never addressed
The room where
Where adults play
The game of pretend
Lies and amnesia
While teaching their youngs
Lessons of morals, values
And promises…
That promises are meant to be kept!!
Trust and Love
The kitten ran
Helter skelter
Scared, very scared
Neighborhood kids
Tried to reason with it
But it was too small
Full of fear
Confused maybe
Maybe it felt attacked
While actually it was
Being rescued
Rescuers didn’t earn
Its trust perhaps
But they were sure
It ought to trust them
The more they tried
Befriending it
More it shrank
Into the shadows
Lessons in trust
Are most difficult
To learn
It’s a language
It’s an action
That promises safety
Both sides need to be
Calm and patient
To set this dialogue stage
On safe middle grounds
What is the language of trust?
What is the language of love?
No one teaches these
We are supposed to learn them
Context, syntax and meaning
Most often we learn the hard way
After the trust is broken
And love breaks the trust
In that darkness
Tiny kitten couldn’t see
Trust or love in the eyes
While everyone saw
Fear in its eyes
When they backed off
It ran for its life
Away from the life
It took a while
For it to return
To this game of
Hide and seek again
Maybe it will survive
Maybe it won’t
Depends on what lurks
In the darkness
One can only hope
It finds its way to
To the bowl of milk
Waiting for it
Food often builds trust
So does tender care
Tenderness is rare
No one teaches us that too
Knowingly, unknowingly
It comes our way
Like the gentle breeze
That helps us breathe
Love can be suffocating
It can smother and kill
What it pretends to protect
While trying to control
We never try to understand
Children’s language
Instead we expect them
To comprehend ours
Children too run
Helter skelter
With fear in the eyes
Unsure why
Mistrust masquerades
As trust
And anger as love
Like Pavlov’s subjects
Why does it all
Have to be reward
Or punishment?
When will we learn
To back off?
And wait patiently
With food and trust
On the table
And tender love in
Our hearts?
#WorldMentalHealthDay2025
Mad Decadence 