Light and Dark

Light and Dark

Light and darkness
Both fill my home
I have made peace
With both
For, I dwell in the greys

I never had a life plan
But life did have a design
Without a choice
I went along

I chose life or
Life chose me
Here we are
Conversing daily

I don’t know
What happens tomorrow
Or day after
Or years later

I am fatigued
I am just arriving
At my present
Made of nows

Don’t ask me
About my future
Or the path that
Hasn’t yet appeared

Perhaps, I will forever
Dwell in the greys and greens
To soak in the blue hour
Seeking stars, comets and the moon

Killings

Senseless violent killings

Never make sense

More so

Killing of young children

They don’t deserve

To be targets

In a failed world

With failed morals

They don’t

Need to die

During morning prayers

For our failings

To build a safe world

Senseless violent killings

Of young children anywhere

Doesn’t make sense

Far too many children

In far too many countries

Are laying their lives

For humanity’s moral decadence

Be it in Gaza, Ukraine or US itself

The more weapons you build

The more innocents will die

Why do you wish to rule

Over corpses and graves?

What will grow there?

Your riches are scarred

And tainted with bloodbaths

We have scarred children

Who grow up as adults

To kill more children

Vicious cycles of deaths

They are on you

Though you have

Traded your conscience

To guns and drones lobby

And your religion too

How many more small graves

Need to be dug?

Don’t you realise

You are ending your line

The line of inheritance

Riches and homes

Build over little graves

Will never last

Should not last

Future?

Future?

They ask me if I think of my future
– have you ever thought of…?
I tell them – I take a day a time
And future as unknown with numerous unknowns and possibilities

I have stopped dreading the future
Out of sheer shame
It is a sheer privilege and luxury
To be alive while many are dying or
Being killed mercilessly

It is not just humans I am talking about
Those are always the collateral
Quid pro pro you see?
No, no – not just life for life
But life for land, minerals, rivers, seas and power

I also mean the other species, climate, air
Trees, rivers, mountains, glaciers, 
Ponds, lakes, forests,.estuaries and wetlands
The planet under the great threat
The land sharks are on the loose
They are worse than the sea ones

And they point out to their political masters
Who they say have a cut
They serve the greed, lust and perversity
They point to you and me too
Our flawed dreams and aspirations

We all want an immortal home
In our mortal lives
We pretend to do it
For our future generations
By killing theirs and rest others

We don’t know where the Owlets went
Or the fledglings
Or the big cats, elephants or the tiny ones
When that wild fire raged
Or the bombs dropped

Future? You ask…
I don’t think it’s gonna be any different
We would be perhaps hanging on the walls
In lovely framed photos taken by best cameras
Which would be vintage ones tomorrow

Those who will survive, will ask
Like we often ask –
Why no one acted to end the war?
Or save the planet?
And life on it?
They would perhaps
Live the tragic consequences
Of our inactions

Being gone, is being free too
Eventual absolute freedom
From the degenerating bodies, ailments
From the cells which start dying
From the day we are born

Being free of the conscience
Free of thoughts and guilt
Not having to bear witness
To ghastly progress
Where we prefer algorithmic voice
And intellect too

I want my plants and trees and rivers
and nature to outlive me
I want to dream of a future that will
Breathe in gratitude
And not curse their past where
Everything was normalised and livestreamed

I just want the future to breathe
I want possibilities of the future to exist
While the present is hell bent on harming it
Just for its own imagined ‘collective good’
For the collectives which are exclusive clubs
Of the powerful, greedy and merciless

I know I don’t have a future
One day dying cells will win over
I know I will wrinkle and wither
Just like my flowers and leaves
There cannot be any other way

Perhaps I am already dead, so are you
We watch it all live streamed
Wildfires, melting glaciers, dead rivers,
Erased forests and the lakes 
Bombs and deaths of the little ones

We still go out and buy those ACs
Cars, new flats and their abundant lies
We think we are part of the exclusive ‘collectives’, the chosen fittest species
With exclusive passes
To the grand party on the plundered land!!!

War – A Grim Reality Show

It almost unfolds live

On Social Media

On Television

Whipping emotions

As short lived

Till the next reel or news

There is a race

Turn it into an epic

Before the elections

Even before it ends

Scriptwriters have no clue

How will it end?

Or will it end at all?

Who has the controls?

Nations who are sparring?

Or nations who sell

Arms and weapons

To both sides fairly?

Is this an long over due upgrade?

Of war technology?

Old stocks need to be used or sold

For the new ones replace them

Weapons lead to wars

Or wars lead to weapons?

Damn the vicious cycle!

Everyone wants to stay in power

Even when they don’t have any

Wars and revolutions rarely go by the script

They often go rogue, off the script

Resilience and resolute is never factored in

Soldiers become immune to killing

And civilians learn to mourn the loss

They understand they are

Important but

Unacknowledged collaterals

Unbelievable!

What a techno-feat!

We witnessed and debated genocide

Inbetween binge watching shows

Even if war comes home

We will watch it on screen

Not realising the proximity

In denial glued to the screens

Life must go on after all

Everything is for greater good

Even the greater evils!!

The Bell


For Whom will the bell toll?
In fond remembrance
Of ones we lost?
Or for us who lived?

The bells can no longer
Keep the count perhaps
The bell no longer tolls

Where are the Hemingways and Orwells?
The ones who toiled
In armies and in kitchen
To write about how it felt
To hear those bells

For whom will the bell toll now?
And how long?
Wars are unending
Ceasefires rarely cease fire

The bells can no longer
Keep the count
Of who is on which side
Who is the winner or loser?

And whom should it toll for?
The ones who lost yet won
Or ones who won yet lost
The bell no longer tolls

There are mourners
But no graves
There are lovers
But no love

For whom will the bell toll?
For you and me
Or for the one who went away
And who can no longer hear

Time has set itself free
It doesn’t count anymore
How can it possibly measure?
What we no longer value

6/3/25
Bangalore

Ah! AI

Ah! AI

Ah! The clamour for supremacy
Race for Artificial Intelligence
While we lose natural traits
Along with all kinds of intelligence

In this game of supremacy
All are falling behind
Be it China, US, UK or name any
All bear the similar shame

Shame of bartering poor lives
Trading away dreams
Violating privacy
Outraging modesty

In this magnificent churn
Of algorithms and time
Wonder who will survive
When the planet dies?

Let us pause out
Take a time out
Remove our heads
From the sand

Information ain’t knowledge
Machines aren’t human
Money isn’t the end game
Neither is power

When empires topple
It is the poor rebels
Who make it alive
While tyrants flee

Time spares none
Not even the sun or stars
We are mere mortal
Accidental stardust!

– Jan 2025
Bangalore

What will become of us?

Maybe the culprits and reasons are the same so are the innocent victims. Be it Gaza, Ukraine, Manipur and other conflicts or wildfires in elite neighborhoods of Hollywood. It is a skewed idea of entitlement, unchecked growth and greed. To feel entitled to encroach and occupy – not just other nations but also nature. To completely disregard basic tenets of human existence and Nature. To stop being human to create luxuries out of miseries at the cost of the environment.

What will become of you and me are in the images of the world today. The destructive progress will reach our homes too before we know it. Natural elements like earth, fire, water and air will try to tame the shrews we have become. Earthquakes here, snowfall there, wildfire here and floods, landslides there – we refuse to read the messages they bring just like we refuse to learn from the history of hate and war.

What will become of you and me isn’t hard to imagine…we no longer even persevere and aspire to leave a peaceful and safe planet for our children. What will become of us and them?

The ‘Cancel’ Culture

It has been an interesting week. It began with my tryst with ‘cancel culture’ during Gandhi Jayanti. I guess across all sections there is a growing trend of cancelling Gandhi and of course Nehru. We all know how and when it started. But given the traction it has received we must introspect.

I don’t think it began in recent years, resentment towards these two leaders was always there among a certain cross section but now it has got amplified thanks to modern narratives and propaganda being spread through Whatsapp university and social media. Their own personal lives and lifestyle choices are casting a very dark shadow on their roles as powerful leaders who shaped India’s non-violent freedom movement and nurtured India’s new born democracy in its infancy.

It is ironic that as we gloat and compete for IITs, build new IITs, the leaders who steered India towards higher education and scholarship are being vilified and defamed casually. With their names too being removed from public spaces, I really don’t know whether their legacy and commitment towards non-violence, equality and high quality education for all will be remembered at all. Perhaps they will be known only for their personal life scandals just like film stars, writers, artists, or celebrities lives are often reduced to. I really don’t know where this ‘cancel’ culture will lead us unless there is another counter culture to balance it. I guess we are headed towards collective amnesia that Marquez and Galeano often talked about. We will not remember the past or how it shaped us because we are too busy cancelling it.

News from France has been interesting too. Bedbugs have entered our daily conversations too. Almost everyday I get to hear about bedbug related scares, jokes and their repercussions. Campus talks apparently are questioning kinds – why should French bedbugs be in the news at all when almost all big cities and countries have it? There are conspiracy theories afloat. France of course is not in denial and they are doing their best. My son’s room and entire residency underwent sanitization. It is evident from the recent focus of media stories on ‘islamophobia’ in France or this bed bugs saga that there is cancel culture propaganda and messaging. Like us, the French are apparently blaming their neighbours (who have fallen out over Brexit) for their woes and negative publicity.

Students of course have been kept busy with coursework and high level courses. After classes they huddle in discussion spaces available around the campus. Apparently, these spaces have reference books, tiny cafes and cluster desks for students to sit and discuss. Since classes are of 3 – 4 hours duration, they are allowed to walk out in between to get their cuppas. Teachers are highly impressive and they hold the attention of the class for 3 -4 hours at a stretch. From what I understand European universities have very rigorous undergraduate courses so students from elsewhere, even those who are doing double masters, are struggling a bit. They all are taking courses as a challenge so I guess they are happily engaged between classes and looking for groceries they need.

Finally my son went to a tiny Indian neighborhood thanks to his Ecuadorian classmate who wants to try cooking Indian cuisine while my son is getting introduced to Latin American sauces and recipes.He finally found – green chillies too – he was missing their taste and flavour the most. They are having nice little cultural exchanges and celebrating diversity. He gave a hearty laugh saying there you are trying to plan a festival to celebrate diversity but here we are celebrating it every day – bonhomie is amazing and no one mocks others.

He tells me, most students are very critical about their own nations and their politics so they don’t insult or mock others. I guess most nations are failing their youths in some way or the other. From what I hear, it gives me hope.

I am worried about how ‘cancel’ culture will play out in our nation’s future. Good journalism almost got literally cancelled by those who are in power last week.

France has kept its education and universities standards very high which is very heartening and it was evident when Nobel prize for Physics was announced. French Nobel laureate took the call during the break and went back to her class to complete the lesson. It says volumes about their commitment to teaching and nurturing younger generations.

Incidentally, when ‘Attosecond’ Nobel was announced, my son was doing his first lab class which he said was a great fun and nothing like the set practicals students do here. Yesterday he also said, “wish there was a way to enrol in undergraduate mathematics course here all over again and then do masters”. I had tried to steer him towards mathematics but now in French University corridors he is developing a deeper liking for mathematics. Engaging deeper is hardly visible these days in our education sphere when the focus is just to pass the exams with top grades and get qualifying degree for good jobs or positions which are so few.

My ironing lady was earlier looking for teaching jobs for her daughter who has done B.Ed from Bihar and now she is seeking any household help job for her. On the contrary, I met a brilliant MTech qualified student who is pursuing B.Ed. So we are in absurd times – qualified teachers don’t have jobs but engineers are seeking teaching qualifications as they are out of jobs too.

As a nation and as people we will keep going in circles I guess while making radius smaller and cancelling everything beyond that radius. Good luck to us!

Happiness on Discount

Have we become junkies
Addicted to hope and joys
Rainbows and silver linings
All things positive decoys?

We proclaim that
It is just
A matter of choice –
To be or not to be

How does it matter
If conflicts rage
Or forests go ablaze?

How does it matter
If someone is killed
Or incarcerated
For our rights?

They know
We enjoy cheap thrills
And discounted happiness
With easy EMIs on sale

How does it matter
If we are told to teach
Wrong facts or hate
Or fiction?

As long as happiness is
Prime and insta-delivered
Does it matter
If the planet is under threat?

They know we are junkies
Addicted to hope and joys
Rainbows and silver linings
All things positive decoys

Gambling away a future
We won’t be a part of?
Doesn’t it seem easy, quick
And affordable?

2034 – A Play Rooted in Dystopian Present and Future

Couple of years ago, I had taken a years break from work. I did many things which I wouldn’t have had liberty to do as a full time working teacher. One of things was – a week long course on History Of Indian Science hosted by Asiatic Society. Icing of the course (cake) was the grand finale – a theatre group called Mukhosh presented an anti-Superstition play – ‘Uncertainty of Principles’ ( ‘https://maddecadence.wordpress.com/2019/04/29/uncertainty-of-principles-a-brilliant-play-on-conflict-between-science-and-superstition/) in the historic auditorium of Asiatic Society. That’s when I first saw scientist duo Dr. Ayan Banerjee and Dr. Anindita Bhadra with their family on stage calling out superstition and astrologers through their brilliant play. 

Having been a fan of playwrights like Brecht whose famous play on Galileo still gives me goosebumps, I felt a great sense of relief to see scientists reaching out to society to spread awareness, to open their blindfolds which has been put cunningly by those in power. That play was a grim reminder of work and sacrifice of stalwarts like Dr. Narendra Dabholkar and many others.

While there are quite a few professional theatre groups in Kolkata who are putting up incredibly brave shows to call out fascism, autocracy, highly critical of state and central governments but what makes Mukhosh a little different is that it is literally a small home grown theatre group, none of them are professional theatre persons but are rather well established names in their scientific academic circles and they really don’t have to do anything additional for the society – as we are often led to believe that scientific contribution is one of the most gratifying one to the society.

But we often ignore that modern scientists rarely dare to call out societal, religious and political wrongs like their glorious predecessors – Copernicus, Galileo and many others (whom they admire) did, as much is often at stake. Prof. Ayan Banerjee, Dr. Anindita Bhadra are carrying forward the brave legacy by staging dystopian truth as a dark comedy and making a call for scientific rationality of thought and action.

Their second play 2034 which was staged yesterday at Academy of Fine Arts on the eve of the anniversary of their theatre venture is truly a commentary on dystopian current times.  Though the play backdrop is set for the year 2034, but I guess realities have accelerated fast beyond the expectation of the playwright.

It is a brilliantly scripted play about how an innocent magician couple’s famous stage act becomes their Achilles heel and they end up behind bars, framed to be anti-nationals by the fearful fascist government in power. I don’t want to give away the script but the way play unfolds as yet another show of the magician while breaking the fourth wall – involving the audience and ending in similar manner is quite innovative and engaging – making audience feel complicit and victim at the same time. It blurs the line between precarious predicament of protagonist and audience. Also, it ends on a mixed note as baton by legacy is passed on to the younger generation who are left to fend for themselves as society abandons them but the seed of creativity instilled by their parents holds a promise.

2034 addresses the important question as well – who are fearful ones here? We, the people of the government or is it really the other way around? Do fascists do what they do out of sheer mental fear psychosis – a fear of being called out and voted out of power? Are they so fearful that they wish to imprison any innocent who they feel is an perceptive, rational, gifted, thinking individual who can unmask their sinister blueprint? It also depicts how fear psychosis percolates when even neighbours, co-workers refuse to stand with the victims as media descends to hound them for the truth which has already been cleverly buried!

Kudos to Mukhosh, Ayan Banerjee, Anindita Bhadra and their family members for not fretting from holding the mirror to current times and calling out that ’emperor is truly naked and fearful’. Unfortunately, it is the audience/people of the republic which has been cleverly blinded.

Certain parts of the play did seem slow but I guess it was deliberate to build up the momentum for the end. Auditorium sound system needs a revamp. Academy of Fine Arts is undergoing renovations so one can hope they will improve infrastructure of the theatre as well.

Also, it was heartening to see many scientists and research scholars coming together to watch the play on a rainy saturday afternoon.

Looking forward for more such plays. These efforts truly are like proverbial straws of hope or silver linings – much required during current dark times which I guess will only become worse in future if we don’t act now.