science – Mad Decadence

Stars burn out too

Sun and stars may seem like

Permanent fixtures of our lives

Moving across the sky

The sun and other billions of them

They are literally a ball of fire

Constantly fusing atoms together

Depleting their reserves slowly

And very brightly

They are going to die too

Each one of them

Die and evolve into something else

Depending on how big or small they are

White dwarf, black dwarf, neutron stars

Or maybe a black hole

Just like every other being

The stars burn out too

And fade into oblivion

Their life timescales are too large

For us to witness

Like ours is for creatures who

Live for only for a bit

Nothing is permanent

Nor stars, nor universe nor we

Yet we keep seeking forevers

Knowing very well that

The cosmic dance can end any moment

Knowing that everyone will move on

Memories linger but that too

For a while, only a little while

In the grand scale of the universe

Sky, horizons, time, colours

Eternities and forevers are illusions

Stars burn out too…so do we…

It has been an interesting week. It began with my tryst with ‘cancel culture’ during Gandhi Jayanti. I guess across all sections there is a growing trend of cancelling Gandhi and of course Nehru. We all know how and when it started. But given the traction it has received we must introspect.

I don’t think it began in recent years, resentment towards these two leaders was always there among a certain cross section but now it has got amplified thanks to modern narratives and propaganda being spread through Whatsapp university and social media. Their own personal lives and lifestyle choices are casting a very dark shadow on their roles as powerful leaders who shaped India’s non-violent freedom movement and nurtured India’s new born democracy in its infancy.

It is ironic that as we gloat and compete for IITs, build new IITs, the leaders who steered India towards higher education and scholarship are being vilified and defamed casually. With their names too being removed from public spaces, I really don’t know whether their legacy and commitment towards non-violence, equality and high quality education for all will be remembered at all. Perhaps they will be known only for their personal life scandals just like film stars, writers, artists, or celebrities lives are often reduced to. I really don’t know where this ‘cancel’ culture will lead us unless there is another counter culture to balance it. I guess we are headed towards collective amnesia that Marquez and Galeano often talked about. We will not remember the past or how it shaped us because we are too busy cancelling it.

News from France has been interesting too. Bedbugs have entered our daily conversations too. Almost everyday I get to hear about bedbug related scares, jokes and their repercussions. Campus talks apparently are questioning kinds – why should French bedbugs be in the news at all when almost all big cities and countries have it? There are conspiracy theories afloat. France of course is not in denial and they are doing their best. My son’s room and entire residency underwent sanitization. It is evident from the recent focus of media stories on ‘islamophobia’ in France or this bed bugs saga that there is cancel culture propaganda and messaging. Like us, the French are apparently blaming their neighbours (who have fallen out over Brexit) for their woes and negative publicity.

Students of course have been kept busy with coursework and high level courses. After classes they huddle in discussion spaces available around the campus. Apparently, these spaces have reference books, tiny cafes and cluster desks for students to sit and discuss. Since classes are of 3 – 4 hours duration, they are allowed to walk out in between to get their cuppas. Teachers are highly impressive and they hold the attention of the class for 3 -4 hours at a stretch. From what I understand European universities have very rigorous undergraduate courses so students from elsewhere, even those who are doing double masters, are struggling a bit. They all are taking courses as a challenge so I guess they are happily engaged between classes and looking for groceries they need.

Finally my son went to a tiny Indian neighborhood thanks to his Ecuadorian classmate who wants to try cooking Indian cuisine while my son is getting introduced to Latin American sauces and recipes.He finally found – green chillies too – he was missing their taste and flavour the most. They are having nice little cultural exchanges and celebrating diversity. He gave a hearty laugh saying there you are trying to plan a festival to celebrate diversity but here we are celebrating it every day – bonhomie is amazing and no one mocks others.

He tells me, most students are very critical about their own nations and their politics so they don’t insult or mock others. I guess most nations are failing their youths in some way or the other. From what I hear, it gives me hope.

I am worried about how ‘cancel’ culture will play out in our nation’s future. Good journalism almost got literally cancelled by those who are in power last week.

France has kept its education and universities standards very high which is very heartening and it was evident when Nobel prize for Physics was announced. French Nobel laureate took the call during the break and went back to her class to complete the lesson. It says volumes about their commitment to teaching and nurturing younger generations.

Incidentally, when ‘Attosecond’ Nobel was announced, my son was doing his first lab class which he said was a great fun and nothing like the set practicals students do here. Yesterday he also said, “wish there was a way to enrol in undergraduate mathematics course here all over again and then do masters”. I had tried to steer him towards mathematics but now in French University corridors he is developing a deeper liking for mathematics. Engaging deeper is hardly visible these days in our education sphere when the focus is just to pass the exams with top grades and get qualifying degree for good jobs or positions which are so few.

My ironing lady was earlier looking for teaching jobs for her daughter who has done B.Ed from Bihar and now she is seeking any household help job for her. On the contrary, I met a brilliant MTech qualified student who is pursuing B.Ed. So we are in absurd times – qualified teachers don’t have jobs but engineers are seeking teaching qualifications as they are out of jobs too.

As a nation and as people we will keep going in circles I guess while making radius smaller and cancelling everything beyond that radius. Good luck to us!

2034 – A Play Rooted in Dystopian Present and Future

Couple of years ago, I had taken a years break from work. I did many things which I wouldn’t have had liberty to do as a full time working teacher. One of things was – a week long course on History Of Indian Science hosted by Asiatic Society. Icing of the course (cake) was the grand finale – a theatre group called Mukhosh presented an anti-Superstition play – ‘Uncertainty of Principles’ ( ‘https://maddecadence.wordpress.com/2019/04/29/uncertainty-of-principles-a-brilliant-play-on-conflict-between-science-and-superstition/) in the historic auditorium of Asiatic Society. That’s when I first saw scientist duo Dr. Ayan Banerjee and Dr. Anindita Bhadra with their family on stage calling out superstition and astrologers through their brilliant play.

Having been a fan of playwrights like Brecht whose famous play on Galileo still gives me goosebumps, I felt a great sense of relief to see scientists reaching out to society to spread awareness, to open their blindfolds which has been put cunningly by those in power. That play was a grim reminder of work and sacrifice of stalwarts like Dr. Narendra Dabholkar and many others.

While there are quite a few professional theatre groups in Kolkata who are putting up incredibly brave shows to call out fascism, autocracy, highly critical of state and central governments but what makes Mukhosh a little different is that it is literally a small home grown theatre group, none of them are professional theatre persons but are rather well established names in their scientific academic circles and they really don’t have to do anything additional for the society – as we are often led to believe that scientific contribution is one of the most gratifying one to the society.

But we often ignore that modern scientists rarely dare to call out societal, religious and political wrongs like their glorious predecessors – Copernicus, Galileo and many others (whom they admire) did, as much is often at stake. Prof. Ayan Banerjee, Dr. Anindita Bhadra are carrying forward the brave legacy by staging dystopian truth as a dark comedy and making a call for scientific rationality of thought and action.

Their second play 2034 which was staged yesterday at Academy of Fine Arts on the eve of the anniversary of their theatre venture is truly a commentary on dystopian current times. Though the play backdrop is set for the year 2034, but I guess realities have accelerated fast beyond the expectation of the playwright.

It is a brilliantly scripted play about how an innocent magician couple’s famous stage act becomes their Achilles heel and they end up behind bars, framed to be anti-nationals by the fearful fascist government in power. I don’t want to give away the script but the way play unfolds as yet another show of the magician while breaking the fourth wall – involving the audience and ending in similar manner is quite innovative and engaging – making audience feel complicit and victim at the same time. It blurs the line between precarious predicament of protagonist and audience. Also, it ends on a mixed note as baton by legacy is passed on to the younger generation who are left to fend for themselves as society abandons them but the seed of creativity instilled by their parents holds a promise.

2034 addresses the important question as well – who are fearful ones here? We, the people of the government or is it really the other way around? Do fascists do what they do out of sheer mental fear psychosis – a fear of being called out and voted out of power? Are they so fearful that they wish to imprison any innocent who they feel is an perceptive, rational, gifted, thinking individual who can unmask their sinister blueprint? It also depicts how fear psychosis percolates when even neighbours, co-workers refuse to stand with the victims as media descends to hound them for the truth which has already been cleverly buried!

Kudos to Mukhosh, Ayan Banerjee, Anindita Bhadra and their family members for not fretting from holding the mirror to current times and calling out that ’emperor is truly naked and fearful’. Unfortunately, it is the audience/people of the republic which has been cleverly blinded.

Certain parts of the play did seem slow but I guess it was deliberate to build up the momentum for the end. Auditorium sound system needs a revamp. Academy of Fine Arts is undergoing renovations so one can hope they will improve infrastructure of the theatre as well.

Also, it was heartening to see many scientists and research scholars coming together to watch the play on a rainy saturday afternoon.

Looking forward for more such plays. These efforts truly are like proverbial straws of hope or silver linings – much required during current dark times which I guess will only become worse in future if we don’t act now.

The Day My Heart Literally Ached…

It was the usual Friday evening. Last school meeting of the day had ended well. I had planned to watch another online event. My son had ordered his favourite food. The weekend mood was setting in…

Suddenly, I felt an ache near the left rib cage. I thought I had sprained my back so I tried lying down straight. The ache intensified. By then the food had arrived so I ignored the pain like I usually do and joined my son. But after a while I couldn’t sit on chair. The pain had started radiating outwards. I drank water, tried lying down. I tried taking deep breath but every breath became hurtful. Both while inhaling and exhaling it was hurting. I couldn’t cough or yawn without pain. I felt a sharp squeeze followed by radiating pain. It was coming in waves. Each one more painful than the other. Finally we dialled our local physician’s number. I couldn’t stand or walk without holding my left side. Our physician immediately asked us to visit his clinic as the pain was on left side, he wanted to keep the option of ECG open.

We don’t own a car, I couldn’t walk. So finally a known rickshaw driver took us to the clinic which was full of patients waiting for their turn. I had stepped out of the bubble during the Covid times and was in a crowded clinic which should have alarmed me in normal times but pain overwhelmed all my senses. I just longed for relief. Doctor immediately arranged for ECG but lying down was a big challenge as I was bending and holding my left side tightly as though trying to stop the next wave of radiating pain. Nevertheless we managed the ECG which my physician red flagged immediately. He was clear the pain was coming from heart muscles but it wasn’t an heart attack. He assured me I would be fine till I reached any hospital emergency. He arranged for an emergency pill to be kept under the tongue.

I was to be moved immediately to hospital emergency so phone calls were made to a cousin with hospital contacts. We didn’t have time to pick up important documents so my son decided to sprint back home to coordinate further over phone. Multiple ubers were booked hoping one of it would reach to us faster. Just while waiting on the pavement for uber, my world started blacking out. My son held me tight and kept whispering that it is not an heart attack or failure, I just need to breathe and be strong. Fellow patients waiting near the clinic found a place for me to sit till black out passed. Finally the uber came. I was eager to reach the hospital emergency just to get relief from the squeezing pain which was constantly intensifying. But we didn’t realise there were multiple centres of the same hospital. So while in pain and blur I had to change the location as I was the only techno savvy one.

Also somewhere my mind was telling me to inform school incase I didn’t return in time for online classes on Monday. Mentally, I was preparing for the worst case scenario. Thankfully, as expected I received complete support from my school. I was told strictly to focus on diagnosis and recovery.

We reached the emergency of one of the upcoming elite hospitals and the second ECG was done. It didn’t look alarming to resident doctors. The emergency staff thanks to our cousin’s known contact didn’t ask for any advance payment, document filling etc. They prepped me for intravenous drugs to relieve me from the pain but when I showed my drug allergy history they decided to do an allergy patch test. The results were disappointing so it was decided to go with oral painkillers and nebulizer as I still couldn’t breathe without debilitating pain. There wasn’t much they could do. They did a third ECG. Since two subsequent ECGs looked safe they decided to discharge me with a suggestion to meet either cardiologist or pulmonologist next day immediately. Opoid painkillers were prescribed to give some relief at night. There was no uber available at midnight so finally our friend came to our aid.

The opoid painkillers gave me relief only for couple of hours. Again I was restless and in terrible pain. Thanks our cousin we got a consultation with a renowned senior cardiologist in another renowned hospital. He heard me out and prescribed further tests along with two 1/2 medicines. He assured me by Monday I would be okay. Rest of the morning till late afternoon went in tests. Once again another friend stepped in with food and car to help us cope. Meanwhile my brave son was writing his end of semester exams while worrying about me.

Most funny part was, right from Friday to the next day whoever I met, including the person who drew my blood kept asking me what did I eat implying that the pain was due to gas, acidity or constipation. I now recollect similar culture shock that I had felt when I had travelled in local train in Kolkata for the first time. Most vendors here sell all kinds of alternative medicine to give relief from good old three maladies – gas, acidity and constipation. The fact that I was asthmatic didn’t matter, the fact that none of the doctors had asked me even once about my eating habits or constipation did not matter. All seemed convinced what I was suffering from indigestion (some still are).

Thankfully tests did not show anything alarming. I met the senior cardiologist again (who again did not ask me about my meal gaps or digestion issues). He once again assured me I would be fine with those two half tablets by Monday for my online classes. One of the two tablets is related to Angina pain and other is of anti-anxiety. I need to continue them for three months. If there is a repeat of the episode then I will need an cardio-angiogram. Again none of the medicines are for indigestion and they both have worked miraculously. I am grateful to all medical staff who are working tirelessly and handling all kinds of cases.

There is a little discomfort and mild pain but squeeze and radiating spasm is gone. Whenever people call me up out of concern they invariably caution me about indigestion. I guess that has to do something with this land of foodies. I am yet to find another city which takes food and digestion so seriously. No wonder Piku, the film was made by a Bengali director. I feel bad about all those train vendors who make a living out of selling little magic digestive potions – churans, amlaki etc. I wonder how they are making their ends meet in the lockdown. Also I wonder, how commuters are stocking up their favourite digestives these days.

My only caution to all Bengali friends is that please don’t mistake any heart region pain for gas, acidity or indigestion. It could be more serious and dangerous. Any debilitating pain requires proper investigation and intervention.

My final diagnosis says unspecified chest pain with indication of Angina and lockdown related anxiety. Doctor did mention such cases are rising globally. A friend has looked up and found out that my symptoms and line of treatment resembles ‘Broken Heart Syndrome’ also known as Takotsumo Cardiomyopathy – cases of which are on the rise during the pandemic. This syndrome mainly affects women above 50 when the stress relieving hormones fail to regulate.

I am yet to suffer from Covid 19 but the pandemic, suffering and death of people in known circles and at large and India’s gross mishandling of the second wave probably has literally and medically affected me and many others – literally has broken our hearts.

The built up of stress due to humiliation, failures, disappointments, deaths, loss and grief happens over time since birth but probably nothing stunned my heart like the present pandemic situation – it is claustrophobic to be stuck in the present and future is a distant blur.

Whatever it is, I hope is temporary. My ache will probably heal and once again I hope, I will walk with sunshine and camera on my shoulders.

Uncertainty of Principles – A Brilliant Play on Conflict between Science and Superstitions

These are the days of despair and conflicts of ideologies. Almost every other person around us believes in Zodiac signs or some superstition. Many have become followers of self-proclaimed modern spiritual gurus. Moreover it is becoming difficult to even have a decent dialogue on these issues. It is a mine field if we try to converse on these issues as religious sentiments are revoked and all the hell breaks loose. Rationality is almost kind of prohibited and there seems to be a shoot at sight order for rational people.

To make it worse pseudo-scientific ideas are being peddled as science. It is ironic that in the era of internet and GPS, we have embarked on a long path back to dark times full of fear and insecurities requiring support of religion, god-men and caste specific gods to reach home safely.

Given this backdrop, kudos to Mukhosh, a theatre group based in Kalyani, suburb of Kolkata for bringing forth a play – Uncertainty of Principles directed by Dr. Ayan Banerjee who is a faculty at Indian Institute of Science Education and Research. The name of the play is a spin-off on Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle but the play is not about difficult scientific theories. It is rather about how wrongly these theories are perceived by the educated and are thought perpetuating the ideas of religion.

The play deals with simple prevalent superstitions like which side of bed one gets down in the morning decides course of the day or how sacred threads can ward off epilepsy or the evil eye. It directly goes into how tragedy leads to god fearing attitudes and how self proclaimed spiritual gurus and god-men manipulate these very fears. I don’t wish to give away the plot of the play.

The entire play is very entertaining and dialogues are full of pun and irony but they don’t directly mock or ridicule the fears of the common man. Humour is very subtle which makes it impactful.

The final act of the play when the protagonist decides to start addressing fears and superstitions of one’s own family members backed with evidence is worth applauding. Like he says – charity must begin at home, so scientists and students of science have a huge responsibility to bring society out of the tunnel of fear.

All characters were well portrayed by scientists and students including that of the dubious god-man. The play reminded of movies like Ganashatru, Kapurush O Mahapurush made by the great film maker Satyajit Ray. The decadence of our society is unbelievable. It was more evident as the play was staged at the iconic Asiatic Society, Kolkata at the end week long History of Science workshop. The legacy of great scientific men of this city is indeed exemplary and it is our duty to uphold this scientific legacy and inheritance.

Don’t miss this play by Mukhosh. Follow them on Facebook to know about their new shows or better still invite them to your institutions, housing community halls and events.